The Dropkicks - 2007 - Episode 13

After a couple of weeks off to rest, we're back and ready for the final round of the 2007 Super 14 season...

Download Episode 2007/13.

England lose, un-invent cricket. World Cup thrown into chaos

From Sports Review NZ...

SRNZPA: In a bold move, England un-invented Cricket following their crushing nine wicket defeat at the hands of South Africa.

"I'm absolutely devastated" responded Malcom Speed, unemployed. "One or two results have gone against England, and they've made what must have been an extremely tough decision. We'd bought the finest around to the Carribean for a carnival of Cricket, now we've just got a bunch of guys in tracksuits buying duty free booze. It's a nightmare."

Former Cricketers may not be out of a job if Saatchi & Saatchi Chief Executive Kevin Roberts' planned breakaway sport "Loveball" gets off the ground. "Oh boy, I am super, super stoked! You guys are gonna love it! I haven't been this excited since the Gillette Fusion razor! Woooooooo! Yeah! Woooooooo!" enthused Roberts before spontaneously exploding.

Full post here...

The Dropkicks - 2007 - Episode 12

Sorry - very late this week, to the point of it now being next week already (and not in the Dropkicks time-travelling sense of next week - just late).

So, listen in amazement as we manage to make accurate predictions of the Super 14 round just completed! Wonder at our analysis of the Cricket World Cup! And be astonished at yet more feats of atheltic wonder in our Athletes of the Week!


Download Episode 2007/12.

The Dropkicks - 2007 - Episode 11

The usual hits and misses with our Super 14 analysis; some Cricket World Cup action; another why-stuff.co.nz-is-crap section; and perhaps the highest quality field ever for Athlete of the Week (not even featuring Roger Federer)!


Download Episode 2007/11.

The Dropkicks - 2007 - Episode 10

High quality analysis of last week's Super 14 rugby games, our picks for the coming weekend, some Cricket World cup talk, musings on the NRL Rugby League competition, a quick look at the slowest swimmer at the World Swimming Champs, why Stuff.co.nz is crap, and some other stuff...

Download Episode 2007/10.

Borat plays cricket

From the ever-dependable Friday links file of Sports Review NZ...

The Dropkicks - 2007 - Episode 09

Pipping the post just hours before the kick-off of this week's Super 14 matches, the Dropkicks share their thoughtful and insightful analysis on not only the Super 14, but the Six Nations, Formula One, the Cricket World Cup, US College Basketball, and pick their athlete and dick of the week...

Download Episode 2007/09.

The Dropkicks - 2007 - Episode 07

The Dropkicks discuss week 6 of the Super 14, some Six Nations (record try-scoring!), Roger Federer's defeat to a 14 year old Russian, Cricket World Cup (hat-tricks galore!), Tiger Wood's death, and Michael Schumacher's surprise return to Formula 1.


Download Episode 2007/07.

Chappell–Hadlee Trophy 2006–07: Game 3, video highlights

The last five overs of the second-best run-chase in ODI Cricket history, with the Black Caps managing to overhaul Austrlia's mammoth first innings score of 346 with 3 balls and one wicket to spare. Awesome...



Full scorecard here...

The Dropkicks - 2007 - Episode 05

Playing a bit of catch-up football this week - finally posting last week's show on the same day this week's show is being edited.

But you've already heard it, haven't you, because you subscribe to the podcast feed? No? Click here for details on how to get the podcast sent to your iTunes, RSS Feeder, or Web Browser automatically, and stop relying on our sporadic blog posting for your latest podcast kicks...

Anyway, Episode 05 features the first Dropkicks competitive eating challenge, Super 14 review and picks, some Nascar, bare-handed vodka-fuelled shark catching, Chappell-Hadlee ODI Cricket series, and lots of tweeting birds...

Download Episode 2007/05.

The Dropkicks - 2007 - Episode 03

Dom flies solo this week. Or does he?

We review our (dreadful) first round picks, make our calls on the second round match-ups, a quick postmortem on the tri-series cricket, and retell one of the best wacky stories you'll ever hear (courtesy of Blind Hamish).

Download Episode 2007/03.

The Dropkicks - 2007 - Episode 02

Here it is, virtually (and in fact, actually) un-edited due to time constraints on the currently over-worked Dropkicks editor, episode 2 of the 2007 Dropkicks season, featuring the build-up to the first round of the Super 14, Six Nations, Tri-Series Cricket, mountain-biking (Vanessa Quinn), Dicks of the Week (Turkey Shooters), Athlete of the Week (Jacob Oram) and Roger Federer still being awesome.

Download Episode 2007/02.

Cricinfo commentary: "It's been distinctly average."

With this particular Dropkick doing most of his cricket watching via the text commentary on Cricinfo, I've always appreciated the small nuggets of humour and personality that come through with the generally rather dry ball-by-ball descriptions. And last night's thumping of the English team by the resurgent Black Caps saw some of the best text commentary I've ever read.

It would seem the comments team on duty was predominantly English, for as the match wore on to its inevitable conclusion, the commentary became more wry, more resigned, and, as a result, a lot funnier. Here's some highlights from the conclusion, but it's worth checking out the commentary in its entirety to unearth even more comedic nuggets of gold for yourself...

41.6 - Patel to Plunkett, no run, defended. Go on son, give it some humpty, I dare you!

43.2 - Vettori to Plunkett, no run, defended down the pitch. "Hit out or get out!" as we used to yell to our Boycottesque opener at school. This is beyond dismal.

46th over...
John, who describes himself as "an Australian fan - writes: "You guys suck - the standard of text commentating has been poor on this site for the past year. Just comment on the shots and what happens on the field. Keep your stupid, unfunny thoughts to yourselves. Thanks, John. So unfunny that he keeps reading it despite being unamused for a year.

47th over...
"Nice chap that John," emails Toby. "Maybe he should keep his stupid unfunny thoughts to himself as well." We would pass your message on but he wasn't man enough to use a real email address ....

48th over...
Apologies for those missing deliveries. Our technical team decided it was too exciting and pulled the plug early. I assure you, you missed nothing.

49.2 - Bond to Nixon, FOUR, width, and carved through the covers! England have saved the bonus-point! Joy, happiness and rapture.

49.6 - Bond to Nixon, 1 wide, bouncer! And it's too short! Another chance to get there. Gosh, the artificial excitement is gripping.

49.6 - Bond to Nixon, OUT, short, swung into the leg-side, Jacob Oram dives forward and clings onto a blinder! And that is a suitably anticlimatic end to another desperate performance.

Congratulations to New Zealand, who have once again shown the sort of prowess in one-day cricket that England so palpably lack. That's it from me, Andrew Miller, and my co-commentators, Jenny Thompson and Martin Williamson. It's been distinctly average.

Brett Lee - #4 with a bullet

Unbelievably, Aussie quick bowler Brett Lee is currently at #4 on the Indian music charts with this tune "You Are the One For Me" - a duet performed with Bollywood legend Asha Bhosle.

Warning, crap.



Some of the quotes from the Youtube site are priceless...

eww gross the song sounds like a kangaroo vomiting butter chicken ew ew eww. brett lee you must stick to waltzing matildas less than twice his age at least and asha jee should stick to being a good respectable octogenarian (sorry auntie jee you asked for it). if you had to squeeze the goodness out of it (and you'd be squeezing for weeks) it would be the crass humour in the video and the bad hindi that still makes some people laugh and the "cross culture" thing - well at least they tried.

This is shit. And Yellow shit.

isnt brett just amamzing , such a talent. pin up boy of cricket.

Each to their own, I suppose...

Black Caps Fail with Failure

From the ever-excellent Kiwi Herald...

In a display of extraordinary ineptitude the Moenui Black Caps yesterday threw away a chance to achieve their worst-ever defeat when a re-called Craig Macmillan scored a boundary from his helmet when attempting to duck under a yorker.

Before a crowd that turned feral as the outcome unfolded, the locals failed to take a single wicket during the visiting Motumurali team's fifty overs and then stumbled to eight runs for nine wickets when a terrified Macmillan threw himself on the pitch as the Motumurali fast-bowler Vaste, attempted to destroy the stumps.

The ball struck Macmillan's helmet and raced away to the boundary to a chorus of booing as the black-caps surpassed the eleven runs amassed by their forbears 20 years ago, when the famed 1987 team lost to a family of muslim market gardeners from Manningville.

Read on here...

The Dropkicks - Episode 36

The Dropkicks penultimate show of 2006 in which they discuss: Sevens, the Fiji Coup, the 1st Cricket Test NZ v. Sri Lanka and the ensuing runout controversy, cheerleaders, Willie Mason and the NY Jets!?, and we announce the winner of the Movember competition.

Download Episode 36 (right-click, save as...)

...how good would Ms Johansson have looked?

Some classic Guardian online commentary of the current Ashes test match (although, not online any more, it would seem), as spotted by Mike on Cricket...

117th over: Australia 392-6 (in reply to 551; Clarke 54, Warne 4) Seeing Giles get a wicket on this pitch, with Monty in the stands, is a bit like seeing Lorraine Kelly look radiant in a particular dress. It's nice and all but you can't help but wonder: how good would Ms Johansson have looked?

The Dropkicks - Episode 34

The latest podcast is now up!

This week the Dropkicks come to you without preparation, without the internet, but with the usual unusual mix of aplomb and stupidity. Despite these handicaps, we manage to review another week of top-notch sports action and news: International rugby, including the All Blacks v. Wales game and enusing haka controversy; South Africa v. England; Ashes Test Cricket. Dick and Athlete of the Week. Corrections and Clarifications. The Tri-Nations League Final Kiwis v. Australia. And the Beleagured New Zealand Knights.

Episode 34 (right click, save target as...)

The ten best Ashes sledges

1. Mark Waugh to Jimmy Ormond on his Test debut, 2001: "Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England."
   Ormond: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my own family."


2. Merv Hughes to Graeme Hick et al: "Mate, if you just turn the bat over you'll find the instructions on the other side."


3. Hughes again: "Does your husband play cricket as well?"


4. Mike Atherton, on Merv Hughes: "I couldn't work out what he was saying, except that every sledge ended with 'arsewipe'."


5. Dennis Lillee to Mike Gatting: "Hell, Gatt, move out of the way. I can't see the stumps."


6. Derek Randall to Lillee, after taking a glancing blow to the head: "No good hitting me there, mate, nothing to damage."


7. Ian Healy, placing a fielder yards away at cover when Nasser Hussain was batting: "Let's have you right under Nasser's nose."


8. Tony Greig, England's South African-born captain, to the young David Hookes, 1977: "When are your balls going to drop, Sonny?"
   Hookes: "I don't know, but at least I'm playing cricket for my own country." Hookes hit Greig for five consecutive fours.


9. Rod Marsh, late Seventies: "How's your wife and my kids?"
   Ian Botham: "The wife's fine - the kids are retarded."


10. Bill Woodfull, Australia's captain in the Bodyline series of 1932-33, responding to Douglas Jardine's complaint that a slip fielder had sworn at him: "All right, which one of you bastards called this bastard a bastard?"

[via Mike on Cricket]

Highest one day partnership. Ever.

Indian schoolboys Shahbaz Tumbi and B Manoj Kumar knocked up a partnership of 721 runs for the opening wicket in an under-13 forty overs inter-school match at Secunderabad in southern India on Wednesday.

The article states they were playing St Philip's High School, who were bowled out for 21 in the run 'chase', but fails to mention whether the St Philip's pupils were, in fact, blind, eight year olds, mentally retarded, or all of the above.

Apparently they broke three records with the stand: surpassing the previous highest stand record of 664 (held by batting superstar Sachin Tendulkar and Vinod Kambli) as well as the highest total and highest margin of victory - in any form of limited-overs cricket at any level.

From the BBC article...

Staff and pupils at the school have not stopped celebrating since the record was set on Wednesday.

The school band is almost more exhausted than the cricketers after playing tune after tune in honour of the young heroes.

Twelve-year-old Mohammed Shahbaz Tumbi and his class mate B Manoj Kumar were playing as openers in the under-13 school cricket tournament of the Hyderabad Cricket Association.

Shahbaz scored 324 runs - with 57 boundaries - off 116 balls.

His partner and close friend Manoj scored an equally scintillating 320 runs - with 46 boundaries - off 127 balls.

A whopping 77 extras meant that the total from their partnership went up to 721 runs for no wicket.

Interestingly not a single six was hit during the trail blazing innings.

Early nomination for Sportsmen of the Week, perhaps?