TV3 RWC no-ads workaround

TV One's Facelift suggest another way in which TV3 might sidestep the no-Sunday-morning-advertising ban...

England lose, un-invent cricket. World Cup thrown into chaos

From Sports Review NZ...

SRNZPA: In a bold move, England un-invented Cricket following their crushing nine wicket defeat at the hands of South Africa.

"I'm absolutely devastated" responded Malcom Speed, unemployed. "One or two results have gone against England, and they've made what must have been an extremely tough decision. We'd bought the finest around to the Carribean for a carnival of Cricket, now we've just got a bunch of guys in tracksuits buying duty free booze. It's a nightmare."

Former Cricketers may not be out of a job if Saatchi & Saatchi Chief Executive Kevin Roberts' planned breakaway sport "Loveball" gets off the ground. "Oh boy, I am super, super stoked! You guys are gonna love it! I haven't been this excited since the Gillette Fusion razor! Woooooooo! Yeah! Woooooooo!" enthused Roberts before spontaneously exploding.

Full post here...

Alan Patridge's World Cup 1994

The proof is in the pudding, and the pudding in this case ... is a football.

Will Carling nearly scores a try

"Just put it down lad!"



[hat tip - sports review nz]

Cricinfo commentary: "It's been distinctly average."

With this particular Dropkick doing most of his cricket watching via the text commentary on Cricinfo, I've always appreciated the small nuggets of humour and personality that come through with the generally rather dry ball-by-ball descriptions. And last night's thumping of the English team by the resurgent Black Caps saw some of the best text commentary I've ever read.

It would seem the comments team on duty was predominantly English, for as the match wore on to its inevitable conclusion, the commentary became more wry, more resigned, and, as a result, a lot funnier. Here's some highlights from the conclusion, but it's worth checking out the commentary in its entirety to unearth even more comedic nuggets of gold for yourself...

41.6 - Patel to Plunkett, no run, defended. Go on son, give it some humpty, I dare you!

43.2 - Vettori to Plunkett, no run, defended down the pitch. "Hit out or get out!" as we used to yell to our Boycottesque opener at school. This is beyond dismal.

46th over...
John, who describes himself as "an Australian fan - writes: "You guys suck - the standard of text commentating has been poor on this site for the past year. Just comment on the shots and what happens on the field. Keep your stupid, unfunny thoughts to yourselves. Thanks, John. So unfunny that he keeps reading it despite being unamused for a year.

47th over...
"Nice chap that John," emails Toby. "Maybe he should keep his stupid unfunny thoughts to himself as well." We would pass your message on but he wasn't man enough to use a real email address ....

48th over...
Apologies for those missing deliveries. Our technical team decided it was too exciting and pulled the plug early. I assure you, you missed nothing.

49.2 - Bond to Nixon, FOUR, width, and carved through the covers! England have saved the bonus-point! Joy, happiness and rapture.

49.6 - Bond to Nixon, 1 wide, bouncer! And it's too short! Another chance to get there. Gosh, the artificial excitement is gripping.

49.6 - Bond to Nixon, OUT, short, swung into the leg-side, Jacob Oram dives forward and clings onto a blinder! And that is a suitably anticlimatic end to another desperate performance.

Congratulations to New Zealand, who have once again shown the sort of prowess in one-day cricket that England so palpably lack. That's it from me, Andrew Miller, and my co-commentators, Jenny Thompson and Martin Williamson. It's been distinctly average.

The '85 Bears

As promised (in a yet to be posted podcast) The Superbowl Shuffle. This was a music video made by the 1985 Chicago Bears just before their first trip to the Superbowl (confusingly in 1986). They are only slightly better than Brett Lee.

Enjoy

Super Bowl Shuffle - video powered by Metacafe

Black Caps Fail with Failure

From the ever-excellent Kiwi Herald...

In a display of extraordinary ineptitude the Moenui Black Caps yesterday threw away a chance to achieve their worst-ever defeat when a re-called Craig Macmillan scored a boundary from his helmet when attempting to duck under a yorker.

Before a crowd that turned feral as the outcome unfolded, the locals failed to take a single wicket during the visiting Motumurali team's fifty overs and then stumbled to eight runs for nine wickets when a terrified Macmillan threw himself on the pitch as the Motumurali fast-bowler Vaste, attempted to destroy the stumps.

The ball struck Macmillan's helmet and raced away to the boundary to a chorus of booing as the black-caps surpassed the eleven runs amassed by their forbears 20 years ago, when the famed 1987 team lost to a family of muslim market gardeners from Manningville.

Read on here...

Scottish response to the Haka

After all the brouhaha surrounding 'appropriate' responses to the All Blacks haka (after the debacle that was this year's test against Wales), some clever clog from Scotland has come up with a suitable reply from that part of the kingdom...

Whoops

What happens when you employ the Dumb & Dumber as your stretcher-bearers...?