World Cup Country Profiles - Canada

The real title of this piece is "Oh Canada! or I Learned Everything I Know About Canada and Canadian Rugby from Wikipedia".

As a major country within the British Empire, Canada has to play rugby. It's mandatory. India and Pakistan get away with it by playing cricket really well. The Canadians were caught trying their hands at cricket just recently, but have some way to go to be taken even half seriously there. So really it's rugby that keeps them in the Commonwealth. They've been a staple at all five World Cups so far, and of course are about to embark on their sixth campaign. And they regularly whomp their nextdoor neighbour, the USA, which must be particularly satisfying.

It's probably lucky for the rest of the rugby world that Canadians would far rather play ice hockey than rugby. For some reason, they're hooked on the game that is really just organised fighting with sticks, helmets (sometimes), a puck and knives on your boots. Ice hockey players look down on rugby players as pussies. Whereas in New Zealand mums pull their kids out of rugby and make them play football because rugby's too dangerous for widdle pumpkin-y-wumpkin-y, in Canada mums/moms pull their kids out of ice hockey and make them play rugby. So when it comes to picking and choosing from the best athletes in the country, Canadian rugby often doesn't have quite the selection that other countries might have.

In fact, and no offence to the Canadians, it's quite hard to think of many outstanding Canadian players. Their best known player would arguably be Gareth Rees, the big-kicking first-five eighth (or fly-half, for all you northerners). Rees wouldn't have looked out of place in most first fifteens around the world. Their big number 8, Al Charron, also comes to mind. As does front rower, Rod Snow. However, Rees and Charon are not pulling on their playing boots any more, and Snow is not as young as he used to be. The current crop of players do not light the recognition registers in most rugby fans around the world.

Although do look out for giant winger Justin Mensah-Coker, standing 6ft 5in (or 195cm) and weighing 16 and a half stone (or 106kg). And then there's the equally ginormous, and just as stupendously named, Mike Pyke (196cm and 104kg). Pyke also plays on the wing, or he can swap to fullback where opposing players need to come prepared with step-ladders to out-jump him on those up-and-unders. Pyke scored an intercept try against the All Blacks in Hamilton this year. If there's one thing the Canadians won't lack, it's size.

So, Canada are a bit of an enigma when it comes to rugby. They're not a third-tier minnow, but sometimes don't quite seem like a second-tier team; probably something to do with having their top players playing in overseas leagues and not getting them back for every match. When they do fire, the Canucks can pick up the odd impressive scalp or two: a 26-24 win over Wales in 1993 (at Cardiff Arms Park, no less!), an 18-16 win over France in 1994 (the year, it should be noted, of the "try from the ends of the earth": the French left Canada to clinch a two-zip test series win over the All Blacks in New Zealand with one of the greatest tries ever seen), a 26-23 win over Scotland in 2002, a couple of wins over Argentina and a 27-all draw against Ireland in 2000.

Canada also had a very good world cup in 1991: they finished second in their pool behind France and won the right to play New Zealand in the quarterfinals. Everybody expected a hiding by the Blacks, but the Canucks showed fighting spirit in only losing by 29 points to 13.

Canada's results in 2007, unfortunately, don't really point to them being a force this time around: a couple of hidings to the NZ Māori 59-23 and the All Blacks 64-13, plus another beating by Ireland A in the Churchill Cup, 39-20, versus some hidings in the other direction: a 40-point drubbing of the States plus two easy wins over Portugal. So it seems they're very much in the middle at the moment. It must be said that in their game against the All Blacks, the Canucks held their own for much of the game, and gave up their points grudgingly. They displayed a typical hard-nosed attitude that should serve them well. However, the lack of true game-breakers will tell, and they will struggle to make the quarterfinals this year.

The Canucks play Wales first up at Stade de la Beaujoire in Nantes on 9 September (a loss), followed by Fiji at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff on 16 September (I'm picking a win, although should be close: Fiji are ranked 12th in the world, Canada 13th), then Japan at Stade Chaban-Delmas in Bordeaux on 25 September (a win) and finally Australia at the same venue on 29 September (unfortunately for the Canadians, a hiding). They should come third in their pool - not quite good enough for a quarterfinal spot.